By Erica Graf
Guest columnist
Yesterday, while leaving the mall, we decided it would be a good idea for everyone to make a bathroom stop. While drying my hands, I noticed a sign on the wall that read:
“If you see a problem with our restroom, please notify one of our friendly sales associates.” (emphasis mine)
Okay…but how do [...]
Just finished a New York Times best-selling novel where on page 233 I read:
Two weeks before I found myself back in my old life, Henry snuck up on me in the kitchen.
You grammar pundits are saying, “Why didn’t her editor catch that?”
I’m saying, “I’m glad the editor didn’t.”
I know you’re supposed to use sneaked instead [...]
Every Monday, our Putrid Prose column features grammar, punctuation, and usage bloopers we find in other people’s writing. In the interest of fairness, I’m confessing to one of my own bloopers. On Twitter, I wrote:
About 50 new followers joined us today. Where are ya’ll coming from?
One of our followers–cyndilou-immediately replied:
ACK! Y’all is short for you [...]
Eye am knot the strongest speller. And when it comes to grammar Laura is a googolplex of light years ahead of me. But I try. And I make an effort to punctuate words correctly.
Since the internet has taken over the world lets peek at two of the more common words of the age: “Web site” [...]
I’m constantly on the lookout for euphemisms (yoo-fuh-miz-uhms): indirect, vague words and phrases that take the place of words/phrases thought to be too blunt, too harsh, or too politically incorrect.
Here’s my favorite real estate euphemism. I snapped this photo of Aspen Meadows Townhomes, a new condo development, from my car while zooming south on I-5 [...]
Often prose isn’t putrid, it’s merely weak. We can strenghten it.
From a newsletter in Friday’s mail: “I was flipping through my journal this morning …”
One of the golden rules of good writing is to kill passive voice. Let’s grab ye ol’ hatchet and and see what happens:
“I flipped through my journal this morning ….”
Better? I [...]
Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash Says Expert
With brilliant analysis like this, he obviously has a future in politics.
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
I bet after running over a few of these delinquents the jaywalking will stop.
Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
Good move; hard to pack much booze into those tiny cases.
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
I’d go [...]
Newspapers are under pressure to get those headlines out QUICK! So sometimes they’re not as clear as intended. (Yes, these are all real headlines.)
LAWYERS GIVE POOR FREE LEGAL ADVICE- Yeah, but when they’re charging you $350 an hour the advice is stellar.
LUNG CANCER IN WOMEN MUSHROOMS- So always be sure to eat the male mushrooms, they’re [...]
The owner of a car lot narrated the following radio ad:
“…These cars are heavily incentivized…”
Incentivized?
I’ve heard of “offering incentives”-but incentivized? I had to check it out. Sure enough, it’s in the dictionary, and it means “to give incentives to.” Another form of the verb is incentivizing (what a mouthful!).
I stand corrected. Incentivized really is [...]
Seen inside a public toilet stall:
Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
In an office break room:
After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
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